Relationship is, as everything else, relationship distorted by the fall, that needs not to be blessed but redeemed. The redemption in Christ (through his life, death, resurrection and ascension) of the relationship between man and woman, is what marriage is all about. This understanding of marriage is in relation to the Eucharist, the sacrament of all these things.

In the early Church there was no separate marriage ceremony. Married couples brought their life together into the Church by participating together in the Eucharist. Modern marriage ceremonies are simply extensions to this.

Orthodox marriage is a two-part ceremony of betrothal and crowning. The betrothal traditionally takes place at the church door, which symbolises marriage as a human institution. It involves prayers and the exchange of rings.

Then, the priest leads the couple (accompanied by singing) into nave of the church (the area where the congregation sit), and places crowns on the heads of the bridegroom and bride. The crowning represents the sacramental nature of marriage; they are placed saying ‘Crown them with glory and honour’, recalling Hebrews 2 and Psalm 8, in reference to the fallen man restored into communion with God in Christ, and restored into rightful rule over the earth.

In this way, the couple are to be king and queen to each other, their life together a witness to the kingdom of God – a “little church”. Marriage witnesses the restoration of relationship, of mankind and of all creation from their fallen states to communion with God. The crowning is an expression of the responsibility the married couple have to participate in transformation of the world themselves.

And, if their life together is to be a “little church”, then there must be a third person present in the marriage, Christ, without whom we can do nothing. Hence why rings, crowns, dances, are all done three times. There is no sermon, because the marriage itself should be preaching without words.

And above all, like Christianity, marriage represents hope:

This is what the marriage crowns express: that here is the beginning of a small kingdom which can be something like the true Kingdom. The chance will be lost, perhaps even in one night; but at this moment it is still an open possibility. Yet even when it has been lost, and lost again a thousand times, still if two people stay together, they are in a real sense king and queen to each other. And after forty odd years, Adam can still turn and see Eve standing beside him, in a unity with himself that in some small way at least proclaims the love of God’s Kingdom.

I love the idea of placing so much meaning behind the institution of marriage, beyond simple proclamations of love, legally binding vows or contracts, or even sanctification of a fallen, human, distorted marriage. I think the symbolism and theology behind marriage in the Orthodox tradition is beautiful, and something to yearn for in our marriages.

(This post was inspired by and based on Khanya’s post on the same subject, in the context of South Africa)

Update: This post is part of a series on wedding ceremonies. The first post is here, the next here.